If you’re exploring adoption as an LGBTQ+ person, you’re in good company. Queer people are four times more likely to pursue adoption than straight people. Even better, more children are being placed with LGBTQ+ families than ever before.
With these encouraging trends, you might wonder how to start the adoption process. Finding the right agency is a crucial first step. While many agencies say they're LGBTQ-friendly, some have more experience and are more welcoming than others. To help you find an agency that's genuinely supportive of LGBTQ+ families, check out these five tips.
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1. Look at the All Children-All Families List
One of the best places to find LGBTQ-friendly adoption agencies is the Human Rights Campaign’s All Children-All Families list. The project aims to promote LGBTQ+ cultural competency in adoption and child welfare agencies.
To get on the list, agency employees must complete workshops and assessments about working with LGBTQ+ families and children. They must also implement LGBTQ-inclusive policies and practices such as establishing non-discrimination protections and improving LGBTQ+ inclusion in forms, paperwork, and messaging.
See the 2023 All-Children-All Families list to find an inclusive agency near you.
2. Prioritize American Adoption Agencies
While not impossible, adopting a child from abroad as a single LGBTQ+ person or couple is significantly more difficult than adopting domestically.
For starters, only a handful of countries — Brazil, Colombia, Israel, and South Africa — allow LGBTQ+ people to adopt.
On top of this, international adoptions have become more complicated in the past two decades. Adoption agencies must comply with the Hague Adoption Convention. This means complying with the laws and standards of children’s birth countries. Unfortunately, many of these countries have laws against LGBTQ+ adoption.
Given these obstacles, pursuing a domestic adoption with an American adoption agency is more practical. In the United States, LGBTQ+ couples can pursue private or foster care adoption in all 50 states, despite some states passing faith-based adoption legislation.
3. Talk to LGBTQ+ Adoptive Parents
The best way to find adoption agencies that welcome LGBTQ+ families is to talk to other LGBTQ+ parents who have adopted. Ask them about their experiences and which agencies they recommend. In doing so, you’re sure to find an experienced and welcoming agency.
If you don’t know any LGBTQ+ people who have adopted, check out these resources:
Gay Parenting Mag’s state-by-state list of family support groups
Gay Adoptive Parents (Facebook group)
LGBTQ+ Foster/Adoptive Parent Support Group (Facebook group)
Queer Families (Subreddit)
LGBTQ Adoption (Subreddit)
Gay Moms Club (Membership Community)
4. Interview Prospective Agencies
Many adoption agencies say they work with queer couples, but when it comes to something as big as adopting a child, you should look for more than just that.
First, check out agency websites. Look for inclusive language, the rainbow flag, and/or pictures of LGBTQ+ couples. After you’ve found a few agencies that look good online, schedule interviews.
Here are some questions to ask:
How many LGBTQ+ people have completed the adoption process with you?
What is the typical wait time for queer couples?
What steps will you take to ensure we’re protected from discrimination?
Do you provide counseling or support for LGBTQ+ parents?
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5. Trust Your Instincts
For better or for worse, LGBTQ+ people are good at detecting prejudice. So, even if you feel overwhelmed by the adoption process, your gut will point you in the right direction.
If an agency's approach leaves you feeling uneasy, explore other options that better align with your needs and values.