More and more LGBTQ+ people are thinking about having kids. According to the Family Equality Council’s 2019 LGBTQ Family Building Survey, 77% of Millennials are already parents or thinking about becoming parents. But for LGBTQ+ folks, deciding to have kids isn't just an emotional choice — it's also a big financial decision.
The numbers might seem overwhelming, but understanding the costs can help you plan and save effectively. In this article, we’re breaking down the price of different family planning methods, discussing insurance considerations, and sharing tips for covering the costs.
Estimated Costs of LGBTQ+ Family Building
Knowing how much fertility procedures cost allows you to plan and save effectively. Below, we've outlined prices for various procedures. Keep in mind that these are estimates. Actual costs will vary based on your location, chosen clinic, and insurance coverage. Nonetheless, it provides a helpful starting point.
Known donor sperm
$25 – $300
Using donor sperm is free if you collect and inseminate at home without medical assistance. However, you might choose to pay for sperm analysis and tests for sexually transmitted infections.
Anonymous donor sperm
$300 – $1,500 per vial
Purchasing sperm through a sperm bank ranges from $300 to $1,500 per 0.5 cc vial. Most clinics recommend purchasing more than one vial per monthly cycle to increase your chances of pregnancy.
Sperm freezing and storage
$250 – $1,500, plus $175 – $750 per year
Whether you’re a trans woman preserving your fertility or a queer womxn or couple freezing donated sperm, expect to pay anywhere from $250 to $1,500 in initial storage fees, plus an additional $175 to $750 per year.
Egg freezing and storage
$7,000 – $12,000, plus $350 – $700 per year
Trans men, single womxn, and couples should plan on paying upwards of $7,000 to freeze their eggs, plus several hundred dollars each year for storage.
Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)
$250 – $4,000
The price covers sperm vials, sperm washing, and the procedure itself.
In vitro fertilization (IVF)
$13,500 – $21,000
Costs vary widely, but an initial IVF cycle using fresh eggs costs $12,000 to $15,000. On top of that, medications run anywhere from $1,500 to $6,000. Subsequent rounds using frozen eggs cost between $4,000 and $7,000.
Reciprocal in vitro fertilization (RIVF)
$15,000 – $23,000
This IVF variation involves fertilizing one partner’s eggs and transferring them to the other partner’s uterus. The baseline cost is the same as traditional IVF ($12,000 to $15,000), but medication costs double ($3,000 to $8,000) since both partners need hormone treatments before the procedure.
Gestational surrogacy
$100,000 – $200,000+
In this procedure, a person with a uterus carries a donor embryo. It’s not available in every state, so do your research beforehand. The price includes the embryo creation and transfer, the surrogate’s medical costs, labor and delivery fees, and legal fees.
Foster care adoption
$0 – $2,600
Adopting through the foster care system is often free or very affordable. The biggest expenses are the home study and legal fees.
Domestic adoption
$20,000 – $45,000
This price includes agency and legal fees, home studies, travel and lodging, and medical expenses for the birth parent.
International adoption
$25,000 – $70,000
Many countries forbid LGBTQ+ people from adopting, but if you find an international adoption agency to work with, expect to pay anywhere from $25,000 to $70,000. This includes legal and agency fees, as well as travel expenses.
conception.
Additional costs
In addition to the costs laid out above, there are several other expenses to be aware of. Again, these vary depending on your family-building method and your preferences.
Some additional expenses to consider include:
Ovulation and pregnancy tests
$20 – $40
If you’re attempting to conceive via intracervical insemination (ICI), you’ll need to use ovulation tests to find your most fertile days. Additionally, you should keep plenty of pregnancy tests on hand to check if your efforts were successful.
Add-on donor services
$25 – $1,000
Besides providing sperm, many banks offer additional services for a fee, ranging from childhood photos of your donor to an ID release, something that allows your future child to contact their donor if desired.
Legal services
$250 – $3,000
Becoming a parent as an LGBTQ+ person often necessitates legal protections. For instance, if one partner isn’t biologically related to the child, they’ll need to file for a second-parent adoption.
Insurance
When it comes to insurance, there's good news and bad news. The good news is that many plans cover doctor's visits, blood tests, and medications to some extent. The bad news is that they don’t usually cover much else. This means you'll have to pay for sperm and procedures out of pocket, which gets expensive very quickly.
Even if you’re not feeling optimistic about coverage, it’s worth contacting your insurance provider and/or the human resources department at work to determine what your plan includes.
Here are some questions to guide your conversation:
Does my plan include diagnostic testing for infertility treatment?
Are there any requirements I have to meet before that coverage kicks in?
Will bloodwork and ultrasounds have a copay or be applied to my deductible?
Is cycle monitoring or fertility medication covered under my plan?
Are IUI or IVF covered in any way? If so, how many cycles are covered for each?
If your current insurance plan doesn't cover everything you need, consider adding another one to fill the gaps. It’ll add to your monthly expenses, but you can cancel it once you get pregnant.
If you don’t have insurance
If you’re not currently insured, keep an eye on open enrollment dates so you can sign up or adjust your coverage to include fertility treatments. Additionally, it’s worth checking out LGBTQ+ family-building grants to help subsidize the cost of your medical treatments.
How to Pay for Your LGBTQ+ Family
Besides contacting your insurance company and applying for family-building grants, there are several things you can do to prepare yourself financially before starting your family.
Here are just a few examples:
Tap into your FSA or HSA:
Both Flexible Spending Accounts and Health Savings Accounts can be used to pay for your (or your spouse’s) fertility treatments.
Open a baby savings account:
Fund a separate savings account for baby-related expenses. This includes money not only for fertility expenses, but also for diapers, formula, and clothing.
Trim expenses:
Eliminate unused subscriptions, order less takeout, and get serious about returning unwanted online purchases.
Resell items:
Chances are your home is filled with all kinds of clothing, electronics, and books you’ll never use again. Turn unwanted items into cash by reselling them on eBay, Poshmark, Craigslist, or Facebook Marketplace.
Try crowdfunding:
Solicit donations from your network on a site like GoFundMe.
Start a side hustle:
Whether it’s dog walking on weekends, selling baked goods at the farmer’s market, or tutoring, you can make extra cash by offering your services.
Ask about financing:
Many clinics offer low or no-interest financing options that allow you to pay for treatment in installments.
Apply for a personal loan:
Fill gaps in your savings by applying for a personal loan. Most lenders allow you to apply online and will give you an answer within minutes.
LGBTQ+ family building requires careful financial planning. Now that you have a better understanding of the costs, insurance options, and funding strategies, you’re well-prepared to embark on your journey to parenthood.