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Writer's pictureLex Stewart

Finding You Again: Reconnecting with Yourself After Becoming a Parent

Updated: Oct 30

Are you feeling restless, like something is missing? Do you find yourself daydreaming about hobbies you've abandoned, or paths not taken? 


The image of an empty nester finally having the time and space to pursue long-forgotten dreams is a common one. But what about the yearning for self-discovery that whispers long before the kids pack their bags for college? The truth is this desire isn't limited to empty nesters. Many moms, regardless of their children's ages, crave space to reconnect with themselves, rediscover their passions, and create a life that feels both fulfilling and authentic.


As children grow and eventually leave the nest, many mothers find themselves at a crossroads, yearning to rediscover their identities beyond the role of mom. Parenting is transformative, and it's natural for your identity to change along the way. This evolution may require some soul-searching to reconnect with what truly lights you up.

Woman holding her baby outside

Wrestling with Restlessness


  • Pay attention to subtle signs of yearning for something more

  • Feelings of restlessness, unfulfilled passions, or a desire for greater purpose

  • Recognize that these feelings are natural and healthy


Carve out 15 minutes each day to revisit a hobby, schedule a monthly coffee date with friends, or enroll in an online course that sparks your interest. Do something low lift — something easy to say “yes” to even when your energy or time varies. These seemingly small acts of self-care can have a profound impact on your overall well-being. When we prioritize our own well-being, we show up more fully in all areas of our lives.


Revisit a Beloved Book:

Remember that book you couldn't put down? Re-read it and savor the experience. How has your perspective changed since you last read it?

Woman wearing headphones and giving the peace sign

Curate a Playlist:

Music is a powerful trigger for memories and emotions. Create a playlist of songs you loved in the past. What memories or feelings resurface as you listen?


Reconnect with Nature:

Spend some time outdoors, even if it's just a walk around the block. Pay attention to the sights, sounds, and smells of nature. How does being in nature make you feel?


Reach Out to an Old Friend:

Who brought you joy in the past? Send a quick message to an old friend to say hello and catch up. Reconnecting with people we cherish can be incredibly fulfilling.


Open communication with your partner is crucial. Discuss your needs and desires and work together to create a supportive family structure that allows both parents to pursue their passions. This might mean adjusting schedules, sharing responsibilities, or seeking outside help when needed.


 

Envisioning the Future

Envision a future filled with purpose and fulfillment, both within and outside your role as a mother. By pursuing your passions and living authentically, you can inspire your children to do the same. Reflect on your values, interests, and aspirations. What brings you joy? What impact do you want to make on the world? What would you be excited to be, do, or create? 


Reframing the future is also important. Instead of solely focusing on your children's future, envision a future for yourself filled with purpose and fulfillment, both within and outside your role as a mother.


Tapping into Community

Embracing self-discovery is a journey, not a destination. There will be challenges and setbacks, but the rewards are immeasurable. But you’re not alone in this! Connecting with other LGBTQ+ moms can be incredibly empowering as you navigate this journey of self-discovery.


Gay Moms Club offers a welcoming space to share experiences, deepen your relationship with yourself, and find support from those who understand the unique joys and challenges of queer parenthood. It's a community where you can explore your identity, celebrate triumphs, and build meaningful, nourishing relationships.


Join our growing community for queer moms today and begin the path of self-discovery surrounded by love, acceptance, and understanding.

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