Kids are naturally curious about their roots. Understanding their background helps them develop a sense of self and feel more connected to their family. If your child was conceived with the help of a donor, their story needs a little extra care.
Talking about donor conception can feel challenging and might make you nervous, but starting the conversation early and being open is valuable. Being honest helps your child understand their story and feel confident about their identity. It also builds trust, strengthens your bond, and ensures they have the necessary information for their future well-being.
But even if you recognize the importance of these conversations, it’s normal to feel unsure about how to start. To make this process easier, we’ve gathered helpful resources, including books, websites, online groups, and sibling registries.
Resources For Talking About Donor Conception with Your Child
Here are some valuable resources to guide you in discussing donor conception with your child. We've organized them by type, with a brief overview of what each one offers.
Books
Written by a donor-conceived person, this accessible book encourages readers to challenge their assumptions about conception, explore their identity, and have curious conversations about their origins.
Published by Donor Conception Network, a UK charity, this book uses simple language and illustrations to help children under seven understand their origins. It’s especially geared toward queer mom families who have used a sperm donor, whether known or anonymous.
This book uses the metaphor of architects, buildings, and blueprints to explain how donor-conceived families are formed. With its blend of scientific concepts and age-appropriate language, it’s perfect for two-mom families who conceived using a sperm donor through IVF, IUI, or ICI.
Widely recommended by therapists, this story follows Mommy and Mama Bear as they start their family with the help of a doctor and a donor's seed. It features clear, age-appropriate language and cheerful watercolor illustrations.
Entertaining and informative, Zak's Safari takes readers aged four to seven on a journey as Zak explains how his parents made a baby. The first half of the book uses simple language to discuss biological origins, including sperm and egg cells, known donors, and genes. The second half celebrates family life, featuring illustrations of Zak and his two moms enjoying everyday activities together.
Written by a sexuality educator, this book helps children from preschool to age eight explore the diversity of families and the processes of conception, gestation, and birth. Its contemporary and inclusive perspective embraces all family types, regardless of the number of people involved or their identities.
Websites
Donor Conceived Community is a nonprofit focused on improving the lives of donor-conceived people (DCP). It offers peer support groups, educational seminars, and free resources for DCPs, their parents, donors, and professionals.
Launched in 2016 as a resource center for DCPs, We Are Donor Conceived has transformed into an online community where DCPs can share their stories. It also serves as an educational hub and publishes a magazine filled with inspiring and informative content.
Facebook groups
Guided by the fundamental rights outlined in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, this collaborative group brings together DCPs, intended parents, recipient parents, and donors. The group’s mission is to improve the lives of DCPs by prioritizing their rights and well-being.
Donor-conceived people from around the globe gather to share their perspectives on issues important to their community and find support.
Sibling registries
Run by one of the largest cryobanks in the world, this online sibling registry enables parents and DCPs to connect and engage with other families who chose the same donor.
Another large cryobank providing informational forums and private sibling connection groups.
Established in 2000, this group now boasts nearly 100,000 members, over a quarter of whom have utilized the site to connect with their half-siblings and/or donors. Additionally, it offers news, resources, and support for families exploring donor conception.