Love makes the world go round. Through friendships, romantic relationships, and even family, love is at the center of everything. And when it comes to the big L word, LGBTQ+ families have a lot of love to give, share, and teach the rest of the world.
As gay moms, we not only represent love and can be wonderful models for love to the outside world, but we can also find it within ourselves by observing other LGBTQ+ families.
Claire Baker — a certified professional life coach, the host of the podcast Practical Change for Midlife Lesbians, and a queer woman who has embraced parenthood herself — knows a thing or two about what it’s like to be in an LGBTQ+ family and how we can further live in love, too.
How do LGBTQ families represent love in the world?
“LGBTQ families represent love by embodying the fundamental values that make any family strong: support, understanding, and commitment,” Baker tells Gay Moms Club.
The challenges faced by queer families — whether in legal battles or societal acceptance — often build a deeper bond between family members. Gay families typically show up in the world with a strong, deep love. How beautiful is that?
“Queer love is a testament to the resilience and the universal desire for connection,” she adds, “It highlights that the essence of family is not determined by gender or sexual orientation but by the shared experiences and emotions that bind individuals together.”
What can anyone, regardless of their sexuality, learn from queer families?
The world is not perfect, but the great thing is, there's a ton of resilience, beauty, and love out there that we can take lessons from, and that includes learning from queer families too.
According to Baker, we, as gay moms, offer a representation of authenticity, resilience, adaptability, and, above all, deep love. We show the world that love transcends societal expectations and norms.
"Regardless of one's sexuality, everyone can learn the importance of open communication, acceptance of diversity, and the ability to redefine and create family structures that best suit the individuals involved," Baker adds, "Queer families remind us that the key to a strong family unit is a foundation built on love, understanding, and mutual respect."
With an increasing number of LGBTQ+ families sharing their stories on platforms like Instagram and TikTok, engaging in personal discussions, or even talking about LGBTQ+ families on podcasts, more and more folks get to witness the incredible possibilities in a wonderful space full of light and love.
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6 queer families who show their love well
Whether you’re a gay mom, a member of the LGBTQ+ thinking of starting your own family, or you’re a heterosexual person looking to educate themselves, there are so many examples of queer families to look up to.
1. Terry Wahls and Jackie Reger
Terry — famous for her groundbreaking work on dietary interventions to manage her debilitating multiple sclerosis — and her wife Jackie Reger are moms to Zach Wahls, the now Iowa statesman. As a young man, he delivered a speech that went viral on YouTube about the love and care he received from his lesbian parents.
2. Brandi Carlile and Catherine Shepherd
Brandi has penned songs about her kids and openly talks about them and her relationship from the stage. According to People, "In between walking red carpets and attending charity events together, the pair welcomed two children, daughters Evangeline Ruth and Elijah. Now, more than 12 years later, Carlile and Shepherd's relationship is still going strong."
3. Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka
An iconic, well-known celebrity couple: Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka. This dynamic duo openly shared their experiences of parenting twins; they often advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and showcase their loving family on Instagram.
4. Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot and her wife Amy Eshleman
These two lesbian mothers have a daughter who actively supports Lightfoot’s career. The pair tied the knot on May 31, 2014, the same day that same-sex marriage was made legal in Illinois before they adopted their daughter Vivian Lightfoot.
5. The Wachowski Sisters
Lana and Lilly Wachowski are successful filmmakers who have navigated their careers and lives as transgender women. Their journey reflects resilience, authenticity, and the love of family.
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6. Karamo Brown
Known for his role on Queer Eye, Karamo is a father and advocate who shares his experiences of parenting and acceptance.
LGBTQ+ families aren’t the only good example of love out there, either. Any queer family can be a bright, shining beacon for love—even Baker, the LGBTQ+ counselor who’s offered us her insight.
“My wife and I have not only birthed and raised two young adult sons but have also cultivated an environment of love, acceptance, and understanding within our family,” she explains, “As a loving and supportive parent, I strive to embody the principles of authenticity and resilience, sharing my experiences and wisdom to inspire others on their journeys toward happiness and fulfillment.”
And guess what? You can too.